Funny...

[archonforest]

Definition of Stress:
The Confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately deserves it.

And then the Satan said: "Put the alphabet in math"

Live today like it is your last day!!
But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't.

If women could read MINDS, every second man will get slapped...

You need only 2 tools in life: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it does not move and should, use WD-40.
If it moves and shouldn't, use Duct Tape.

[matrix2003]

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep.
Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.


My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

[masonspappy]

Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you.

[yossam]

The worst butt whoopin' I ever got was from someone about 5' tall. I'm 6' 9". 

[zaxxon]

There are three kinds of people on this planet: those who are good at math and those aren't.

[zaxxon]

...and those who aren't. Don't you hate it when you blow the punchline  !

[Hannes]

Oh yes, this is even worse than peeing your pants in public! Almost...