Welding destroys the object even further, though I might be doing it wrong.
Anyway, I found a simmilar post back from 2011. It turns out that importing and just resaving the object in Poseray (no other action required) fixes the problem. Just like that. Albeit, at the cost of increasing the file size by 1/3...
Anyway thanks for, as always, chiming in Guys. Appreciate it!