If the data has already been loaded, it will not be unloaded by disabling a node. It will stay in memory until you delete the node or ask it to load another file (or a file that doesn't exist). However, if you shader or object is disabled when the project or clip file is loaded, the data should not be loaded until you first enable the node. I am not 100% sure that this desired behaviour works in all cases, however. It is up to the shader or object node to look at whether it is enabled or disabled and handle its own loading and memory management, so there may be inconsistencies in how different nodes work.
On Windows, using the Task Manager allows you to see how much memory Terragen is using. You might need to enable the "VM Size" or "Virtual Memory" tab to see all the memory it's using. Mac OS also has tools to monitor memory usage of course.