If Santa were real (which he obviously is)

Started by JimB, December 16, 2007, 10:15:58 am

Previous topic - Next topic

JimB

Doing the rounds...  ;)





Santa Claus has been accused of putting his life and the lives of others at risk through breaches of health and safety laws. Brandy-loving present-giver Claus behaves recklessly and in direct contravention of UK legislation, experts said.

Claus, also known as Father Christmas, delivers presents to the nation's children by landing a sleigh on the roofs of houses and climbing down chimneys to deliver sack-loads of gifts. He is understood to use letter boxes for entry to houses without chimneys.

Health and safety law expert Fiona Clarke of Pinsent Masons, said that he could well be in breach of the law. "Santa's yuletide operations clearly come within the Work at Height Regulations 2005," said Clarke.

"Working at height should be avoided where possible, but if it is absolutely necessary then Santa should at least make sure his sleigh has guard rails to prevent a fall and a fall arrest system installed so that if he does fall he is protected."

Those whom Claus visits also have obligations though, warned Clarke. "Householders should be aware of occupiers' liability - if Santa is coming to your home then you have a duty to take reasonable steps to make sure he is not injured," she said. "Make sure your roof is safe and that the chimney is clear so that he doesn't injure himself on the way down."

Concern has also been raised at Claus's brandy intake, which switches to whisky in Scotland. Claus visits houses on a nine-reindeer sleigh which flies through the air, despite the ingestion of a glass of spirits in each of the UK's 25 million households in one evening.

"The alcohol restrictions are the same for every pilot whether you are flying a light aircraft or a 747," a spokesman for the Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) said:

"It is 20 milligrams per 100 millilitres of blood, which is nothing, basically, a trace. One brandy probably would put you over that limit."

"These are the rules for pilots in the UK, every country has its own and Lapland may have different requirements," said the spokesman.

There are also flying height restrictions which Claus is in clear breach of. Aircraft must not fly lower than 1,000 feet in major conurbations, according to the CAA. Claus consistently does this as he flits from roof to roof.


Some bits and bobs
The Galileo Fallacy, 'Argumentum ad Galileus':
"They laughed at Galileo. They're laughing at me. Therefore I am the next Galileo."

Nope. Galileo was right for the simpler reason that he was right.

rcallicotte

So this is Disney World.  Can we live here?


Will

The world is round... so you have to use spherical projection.

Cyber-Angel

The aerodynamic reality of this guy should be taken into consideration. The fact of the matter is in order for Mr S.Claus (sic) to get to every home (With a chimney) in one night his sleigh would need to traveling at 25-30 Mach (That is 25 to 30 times the speed of sound) to cover those vast distances also he would have to spend no more then approximately 000000.2 secs or there abouts in each home meaning that if any one did see him, he would appear as no more then a blur as he would be moving so quickly. Since  Mr S.Claus (sic)  is subject to the same laws of physics (Newtons three laws of Thermodynamics) as any thing else the speeds at which his sleigh would need to traveling would cause him to be burnt up due to heating caused by air friction.

Even if he spent maier seconds in each home, if you factor variables such as weather conditions, wind speed and direction (Including cross winds), time taken for each landing and take off, time taken to enter each home and leave presents and exit again and the time it takes to cross oceans and other bodies of water among others it is still impossible to do all of this in one night (Not to mention that he would have to operate in day time as well due to it been night in one side of the world at any time).

_______________________________________________________

Apart form the above good bit of fun here  ;D

Regards to you.

Cyber-Angel     

Will

There was some Wired article recently that showed how it could be pulled off, they interviewed ex-Navy SEALs and a bunch of other people know know a lot about covert ops and stuff.
The world is round... so you have to use spherical projection.

rcallicotte

So this is Disney World.  Can we live here?

Will

The world is round... so you have to use spherical projection.

Cyber-Angel

As I stated what the guy dose is an impossibility a lest as classical physics is concerned, there maybe some thing in the field  of quantum mechanics (Which I know nothing about) that may make it possible, but would be theoretical at best as there would no way to get deterministic, quantifiable, empiric data that you could have pear reviewed that you could state as been fact, I do wish that some one would solve the Grand Unified Theory problem then a lot of headaches would go away, at least for the time being.

Regards to you.

Cyber-Angel             

Will

Santa does it through the power of love...
That or a massive army of clones and a Ironfisted over watch administration above our own comprehension.

So I must ask... do you want the red cookie or the blue cookie...
The world is round... so you have to use spherical projection.

Cyber-Angel

Quote from: Will on December 16, 2007, 06:59:58 pm
Santa does it through the power of love...
That or a massive army of clones and a Ironfisted over watch administration above our own comprehension.

So I must ask... do you want the red cookie or the blue cookie...


Since that is the choice weather to except the truth or reject it and carry on as before, I will take your red cookie (Nice take on the Matrix by the way), or as the occupant residing at 21B Backer St, London Mr S.Holmes said "Once you've eliminated the improbable, whatever remains no matter how unlikely must be the truth".

Regards to you.

Cyber-Angel     

rcallicotte

I want green.

:-* <-- environmentally conscious

Quote from: Will on December 16, 2007, 06:59:58 pm
So I must ask... do you want the red cookie or the blue cookie...
So this is Disney World.  Can we live here?

Will

The world is round... so you have to use spherical projection.

rcallicotte

I did press and nothing happened.  What's going on? 

Do you get sprinkles this way?

Quote from: Will on December 17, 2007, 02:35:02 pm
I want sprinkles!  ;D
So this is Disney World.  Can we live here?

sonshine777

He uses holographic projection for the visual and a transporter courtesy of Star Trek for entry. Scotty is really the busy one. ;D